Last week while I was alone at home after a day at work (my husband was out of town for work) I set to singing all of my favorite songs to sing. I’m very self conscious about singing in front of others but I LOVE to sing and I’m pretty good at it so when I’m alone I spend a lot of time working out the ol’ vocal chords. As I was selecting different songs to play I came across Carrie Underwood’s “Don’t Forget to Remember Me.” Yes, yes, I know. Country sucks, blah blah blah. So does rap and holy jesus if I have to hear one more word about Jus.tin Bie.ber…

I like rap, I love jazz, and I like some country. Underwood’s song talks about a girl who leaves home at 18 to pursue (insert your own experience here) and her mom asks her to not forget to remember home, explains in the second verse that she misses home but still feels like she’s where she needs to be and asks her family to not forget to remember her, and finally she speaks to God (the Christian one, this is country music we’re talking about) and asks that even though there are lots of other more important things that he not forget to remember her.

Even the most self-sure of us have moments where we wish someone cared about us and our well-being and not all of us have family or good friends to rely on. I would guess that this is when some people turn to God, also known as the Great Friend. Inventing an imaginary friend is a common response to loneliness or boredom, children do it all the time. I remember swimming around a kiddie pool in our backyard when I was really little imagining that the characters from Zoobilee Zoo were watching, impressed with my ability to swim in circles. The difference is that the characters didn’t insist that gays were the devil or that everyone who didn’t believe they were there would go to hell.

I completely understand the need for comfort, especially in times of loneliness or illness. When I sing the Carrie Underwood song I ALWAYS choke up on the line where she says “and make sure you tell Daddy that I’m still his little girl” because sometimes I really miss my dad. Everyone wants someone there to say how awesome they are doing or to tell them that everything is going to be okay. God doesn’t do that. People don’t hear God talk, they pretend they do. When they want to think God is speaking to them through something or someone, their saying it makes it so and in the end they are doing what they want to do and using their invention of “God” to justify their actions. The God they speak of is only themselves comforting or motivating themselves, it’s just more comforting if they pretend it’s coming from an outside source because it’s too scary to think that they have to be responsible for themselves. Admitting that there is no one there is also admitting to being alone, and to many humans that is a frightening way to be.

So if you have time to yourself and you find yourself feeling lonely, think about how lucky you are to be in control of your own life, your own decisions, your own future. That you can decide how to react to situations and if you want to go down a different path you can. Find a way to be comfortable with your abilities and your future. Don’t play make believe to get yourself through. Make yourself stronger emotionally and intellectually and you can make it through without illusions or pretending. More than likely if you do these things no one who truly cares about you will forget to remember you.